Things To Do If You Think Your Neighbor Won The Lottery

With the recent news of a winning Powerball ticket being sold in Lafayette Parish worth over $55 million, people are speculating about who might be the winner.

I have put together this handy-dandy list of things to do if you think your neighbor won the lottery.

Domino Sugar/Target.com
Domino Sugar/Target.com
1
Make A Return
Return EVERYTHING you have ever borrowed IMMEDIATELY! (Even if it was a cup of sugar – return the cup, and include a new 5-pound bag of Domino sugar!) Maybe, if they will forgive your dereliction of neighborly duties, they will cut you a piece of the pie!
(Staff Photo)
(Staff Photo)
2
Have Them Over
Invite them over for your annual Good Friday fish fry/crawfish boil. Be sure to go through their trash prior to the event and find out what kind of beer they drink and then have plenty on hand for the party. Maybe, if they see that you are a good person, they will cut you a piece of the pie!
Getty Images
Getty Images
3
We Have The Same Eyes!
Ancestry.com; Facebook.com; 23andMe.com; Tinder.com – use EVERY possible avenue to prove a connection! Maybe, if they see that you are family, they will cut you a piece of the pie!
Getty Images
Getty Images
4
Get On The Payroll
Start cutting their grass for them, or washing their car, or cleaning their (soon to be REALLY fabulous) pool. Maybe, if they see that you are a good, conscientious worker, they will cut you a piece of the pie!
wedding cake topper ThinkStock
wedding cake topper ThinkStock
5
Relate By Proxy
Find out if they have any close relatives who are single, and then try to hook up with them. Maybe, if you are a good in-law, they will cut you a piece of the pie!
6
Get Desperate
Follow them to the grocery store and, with a basket full of groceries, try to be right in front of them at checkout. When the cashier gives the total, start frantically searching for your wallet, in hopes that your neighbor will take care of the bill! Maybe, if they see you "in need" often enough, they will cut you a piece of the pie!

In All Seriousness: Be A Friend

All kidding aside: ignore all of the above suggestions, and go on with your life. If you are a true friend to your neighbor, continue to be a true friend and never ask for ANYTHING. If your neighbor just won the lottery, the thing they need most right now is a true friend.

I hope that winning the lottery changes the winners’ lives for the better, and that the new-found riches empower them to help others in need.

If you do follow the above advice, don't be mad at me if all you end up with is a piece of pie.

Now, mind your own business and get back to work; the odds of anyone else from Lafayette Parish winning that much of a windfall are quite slim!

(Target)

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