Real 2022 College Football All-Name Team Feels Like a Key & Peele Sketch
“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”
William Shakespeare wrote this dialogue centuries ago for Romeo and Juliet.
The meaning of the line is, "Names are irrelevant".
When it comes to the 2022 College Football All-Name Team, Shakespeare's belief of a name being inconsequential can fall on deaf ears.
Ten years ago, Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele aired a ridiculously funny sketch on their former hit comedy show Key & Peele, satirizing player intros with absurd names.
This season, Twitter user @FightOnRusty put together the list of the 2022 College Football All-Name Team by position.
If any one of these names had appeared in the Key & Peele sketch from 10 years ago, they would've fit right in.
It's a difficult list to crack.
Players such as Baer Hunter from Appalachian State and Kyndrich Breedlove from Ole Miss couldn't even make it.
Here's the complete rundown:
- Quarterback: General Booty, Oklahoma
- Running Back: Tank Bigsby, Auburn
- Running Back: Djouvensky Schlenbaker, Washington State
- Wide Receiver: Boogie Knight, ULM
- Wide Receiver: Boobie Curry, Buffalo
- Wide Receiver: Decoldest Crawford, Nebraska
- Tight End: Jaeger Bull, Wake Forest
- Offensive Lineman: Dylan Deatherage, Western Michigan
- Offensive Lineman: Wing Green, Georgia Tech
- Offensive Lineman: Tiger Shanks, UNLV
- Offensive Lineman: Panda Askew, Charlotte
- Offensive Lineman: Malaesala Aumavae-Laulu, Oregon
- Defensive Lineman: Shitta Sillah, Boston College
- Defensive Lineman: Demon Clowney, Ole Miss
- Defensive Lineman: Blazen Lono-Wong, Arizona State
- Defensive Lineman: Fish McWilliams, UAB
- Linebacker: Buck Coors, Wyoming
- Linebacker: Hot Rod Fitten, South Carolina
- Linebacker: Bumper Pool, Arkansas
- Defensive Back: Storm Duck, North Carolina
- Defensive Back: Kool-Aid McKinstry, Alabama
- Defensive Back: Ephesians Prysock, Arizona
- Defensive Back: Major Burns, LSU
The East/West Shrine game sketch from 2012 was so popular, Key & Peele did several follow-ups to it.
Each one was a bit more over the top than the original, and none of them were as good. It still makes me laugh though.