10 Things, People, And Situations That Just Really Irk Us All
"Irk' is a great word. First, it looks odd when you see it in print. Second, it's kind of fun to say. Third, while irks can be exasperating there is also a certain amount of humor you can find in them.
Our mission today was to cleanse our pent-up personal frustration filters by claiming out loud that the following things irk us. No, not to the point of physical violence, also known as "going Acadia Parish", but to the point of simply letting go.
The Inclusion Of Unnecessary Liquid
This would include the always questionable yogurt water, you know the layer of liquid that greets you when you open a cup of yogurt. Check out the video. Another unnecessary liquid is the ooze that comes out of a ketchup or mustard bottle right before the real condiment hits your sandwich. I don't like soggy sandwiches and that extra liquid irks me to no end.
The Accidental Accuser
I know the embarrassment of having my credit or debit card declined. That's why I usually carry small amounts of cash for most of my daily transactions. It irks me to no end when the cashier holds the $20 bill I just gave her up to the light to check its validity. I realize it's not an indictment me of me per say but still, it's an unintentional insinuation that I am passing counterfeit bills. It irks me.
The Perpetually Not Prepared
You can't say you don't feel your blood pressure go up just a bit when the person in front of you at the checkout line has been given her total amount and only then decides to start digging in her purse for a way to pay. Or how about at the drive-thru when the driver in front only begins to reach for his wallet when the clerk is ready to pass the food out the window. These aren't day killers but the irk factor is pretty darn high.
The Poorly Timed Phone Faux Pas
This doesn't usually happen in a retail setting but in a service setting such as airline reservations or motel check-in. You're about to ask your question when the clerk's phone rings. They answer the call and keep processing your request. The request that you have several questions and concerns you'd like cleared up before they print a ticket, a boarding pass, or assign you to a room that has no toilet.
The Technologically Impaired
I am not speaking of mastering major computer skills, I am speaking more along the lines of operating gas pumps, ATMs, and self-service yogurt machines. If you lack the ability to figure these tasks out or have not taken a moment to be mentored by the clerk at the Circle K during a slow time then shame on you. The rest of us want our yogurt, our gas, and our cash and don't need you providing a speed bump to our irk filled journey through life.
The Unnecessary Engine Revver
We all know that your truck, chainsaw, weedeater, electric toothbrush, is running. We can clearly hear it over any other sound in the environment. Congratulations, you've made us notice your pitiful existence. There is no need to keep hitting the throttle to increase the RPM's of the motor. It's loud enough at idle speed and with every pulse of the pistons, you make us wish more and more that your parents had practiced safe sex.
The Over Selfied
I recently sat in the Ft. Lauderdale airport and watched a mildly attractive person take 37 different selfie pictures of themselves waiting at the gate. The facial expressions went from sexy, to flirtatious, to serious, to angry, to enlightened but all the pictures came out in the form of self-absorbed. I get wanting to document every other moment of your existence but 37 times to find a photo that even your mother would have trouble liking. That is irksome behavior.
The Faux Frail
Let's talk about the "conveniently disabled". These are the people that need extra assistance to board the plane first but sprint like Usain Bolt with no cane needed to get off when the plane lands. They are the scooter riders in the store that walk briskly to their truck loaded down with Jet Skis when they've finished blocking the store aisles. It irks me when people try to steal empathy they don't deserve.
The Fred Sanford Trucker
If you think back to the opening credits of TV's Sanford and Son you can picture that old truck heavily laden with junk. I always seem to get behind these poor packers with their mattress, washer and dryer, child's playset, and three old lawn chairs during rush hour. I understand, we all have stuff to haul but could you at least invest in a rope or do some packing practice with a game of Tetris? I don't want your end table to end up as my hood ornament.
The Door Mat Parent
If your family is made up of an older male or female or combination of the two and you are also blessed to have semi-genetic copies of yourself please look in the mirror. Please note the larger and older of the species is in charge. This is not up for debate. You should not ask a child's permission to follow your wishes and commands. Screw their video game and what level they are on. You had a big enough set to produce them, now grow a bigger set to parent them.