I hate boats.

Okay, maybe hate is strong. I just don’t like them. I’m not necessarily phobic; I’ll get on one when I have to. But given the choice between land and sea, I pick land ten times out of ten. If man was meant to hang out in the ocean, he’d have a orange and green outfit and we’d all call each other Aquaman.

So to me, Deepwater Horizon isn’t just a thriller based on a true story. It looks like maybe the scariest horror movie of the year, and just an absolute nightmare. Mark Wahlberg stars as Mike Williams, a member of the crew of the infamous oil ring that suffered a catastrophic failure in the waters of the Gulf of Mexico in 2010. The rest of the cast includes Kurt Russell, John Malkovich, Gina Rodriguez, Dylan O’Brien, and Kate Hudson as Williams’ wife. Here’s the official synopsis:

On April 20th, 2010, one of the world’s largest man-made disasters occurred on the Deepwater Horizon in the Gulf of Mexico. Directed by Peter Berg (Lone Survivor), this story honors the brave men and women whose heroism would save many on board, and change everyone’s lives forever.

Wahlberg’s character is based on a real guy, so if you don’t want to know Mike’s fate, maybe avoid reading any historical accounts or Wikipedia pages about the Deepwater Horizon until after you see the movie. And, again, just stay off boats and rigs and anything on the water in general. It’s just a good policy.

Deepwater Horizon opens in theaters on September 30.

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