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Why Do People Hate To Hear The Truth About Themselves?

I’ve always wondered why people hate to hear the truth about themselves, myself included.

Couple in heated argument
George Marks, Retrofile/Getty Images

Why is it when someone calls us out about our flaws, we act as if someone has just called our kids ugly?  We are sent into a rage of denial that makes our blood boil, causing us to unleash a verbal whoop ass on the person who read us.  If what said to us is true, and we know it is, why can’t we just agree and move on?

Instead of just saying, you know you’re right, that is a flaw about me that hopefully one day I can change and leave it at that, we come unglued KNOWING that the person directing these terrifying words at us is 100% correct.  Do we actually believe other people don’t see our shortcomings?  Really?

If you gossip about people and someone calls you out on it, don’t be so surprised.  If you are negative about EVERYTHING, sooner or later someone is going to say something negative about you…to YOU.  So don’t freak out.  If you can’t be trusted, when no one around you can trusts you, ask yourself why.  If you are a cheater, and society places that label on you, don’t be shocked.

So many people can dish it but when the table is turned, act like it’s the end of the world.  Ever notice sometimes when someone is called out about one of their not so great characteristics, they immediately want to criticize you about something.  And that’s usually when it hits the fan, right.  One thing I’ve learned in counseling is that if someone has a problem with you (accurate or not), talk about just THAT subject.  That is not the time to attack the person who just let you have it.  If you have a problem with them, address it at a later date.

You know this is exactly where the saying, “The Truth Hurts” comes from.  Humans absolutely HATE to hear about their faults, and we all have them.  Like you, I’ve had people tell me things about myself that they considered a flaw.  If they have it right, it hurts, but I’m learning to accept those.  What makes me most upset is when the comment is completely fabricated.  Those are the times I find it very difficult to hold back.  But I’m striving to react better to those too.

And then their are those people that I guess truly believe they are perfect.  If you are one of these people, YOU ARE NOT PERFECT.  Whoever put that thought in your head did not do you a favor.

I believe this world and people in general would be happier if we just accept our faults.  Look, if you know what your faults are, accept them.  That way, no one can ever say anything about you that will cause you to come unglued.  Wouldn’t it be nice to just smile if someone called you fat?  Think about it, how emotionally liberating that would be, WOW!

The sad part is that many people will read this and not get it.  And therein lies yet another problem facing humans…denial!

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