Woman Bans Mom Who ‘Abandoned’ Her From Visiting for Grandchild’s Birth
A woman on Reddit is upset that her daughter won't allow her to come stay for an extended period of time during the birth of her grandchild.
"My oldest daughter is going to give birth to her second child next month. Their father and I divorced about 18 years ago. I was a super young bride and did my best to raise my kids but my husband was 12 years older than me and was an alcoholic. Eventually, I had to go live my own life. I ended up moving to Sedona [from New York] and getting into the spiritual community," the grandmother wrote on Reddit.
The woman's daughter was only 20 when she left to go on her spiritual awakening journey. Since then, she's tried to "visit twice a year and spend time with [her] kids and grandson."
"I’m of a lower income bracket so I usually stay with my daughter. I was hoping to stay for the month next month, but my daughter told me that she strictly doesn’t want me coming for the birth of her second child," she explained.
The woman's daughter told her she "abandoned them and that I don’t just get to show up for the good moments." She also told her she can come in January but will have to get a hotel room.
Now, the woman is "hurt" that her daughter won't allow her to stay with her during the month she's due to give birth.
"I know I live far away, but I’m not the first mother to not live in the same state. I make sure to visit at least twice a year and save up a significant amount to do it. I did get a bit upset on the phone and told her I wish she’d told me she was holding resentments earlier. She told me that she didn’t have a home to stay in during college break because I just disappeared," she concluded.
In the comments, readers sided with the woman's daughter, with many blasting the woman for not understanding why her daughter wouldn't want her around right now.
"I'm sorry to say but you are experiencing the consequences of your actions. You are the one who moved away. I can tell you honestly that even if a mother and daughter have a really solid relationship, it would be unreasonable to expect to be able to stay for a full month immediately after the birth of a grandchild. It's just too much, even for the best relationships. There clearly are unresolved issues and it's important to respect your daughter's wishes if you want to try and start repairing your relationship," one person wrote.
"Imagine how your children felt when you left to 'find' yourself. Your daughter's impending birth of her child isn't about you or what you want. It's about her, her family and their comfort. Your daughter is not saying you can't visit, she's saying you are not welcome to camp out in her home for a month. Get over yourself," another chimed in.
"In the meantime, maybe you could speak to your daughter about having counseling sessions between you two. In this digital age, it is much easier to do counseling from separate states. Something to think about," someone else suggested.
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