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Advice For Saints Fans When It Comes To Explaining The Atlanta Falcons In The Super Bowl To Your Kids

NFC Championship - San Francisco 49ers v Atlanta Falcons
Chris Graythen, Getty Images

You can’t protect their innocence forever.

You knew this day could eventually come, and here we are. This Sunday, the Atlanta Falcons will be facing the New England Patriots in Super Bowl 51. If you’re a Saints fan, you already know the level of disdain we have for the Dirty Birds, and if you don’t despise the Falcons, well you’re simply not a real Saints fan.

Any time someone asks who I’m rooting for in the Super Bowl, my answer is simple: #NeverAtlanta

But for those people with kids, it may be hard to explain the geographical reason for the rivalry. Or the fact that we’ve been battling twice a season in the same division for decades. Or that we each started a franchise one year apart.

New Orleans Saints v Atlanta Falcons
Kevin C. Cox, Getty Images

A New Orleans comedian by the name of Chris Trew posted an article titled “Talking To Your Kids About the Atlanta Falcons in the Super Bowl” and its pretty hilarious.

It truly doesn’t matter what kind of kid you have. Trew has come up with solid reasons to convince your children why they should despise the Falcons no matter what their personality traits may be.

Does your kid hate nerds?
The Falcons franchise got fined a lot of money for pumping in fake crowd noise in 2013 and 2014 because their fans were so quiet and bored during games. Only nerds do stuff like this.

Divisional Playoffs - Green Bay Packers v Atlanta Falcons
Chris Graythen, Getty Images

Does your kid love math?
In 2013 a study at Emory pegged Atlanta as the 2nd worst in Fan Loyalty rankings and Emory is based in Atlanta. Even the dumbest kid will love this fact so your math loving kid is gonna really, really love this.

Detroit Lions v Atlanta Falcons
Jordan Mansfield, Getty Images

Is your kid a bandwagon type?

 

In 2012 ESPN said “without a doubt Atlanta is the worst sports town in America.” A lot has changed since 2012 but this will always be funny. Make sure your kid knows that not very many people like the Atlanta Falcons so they shouldn’t like them either.

Philadelphia Eagles v Atlanta Braves
Scott Cunningham, Getty Images

Is your kid creative when it comes to lying to prove a point?
The new Atlanta Falcons stadium is sponsored by Mercedes-Benz just like the Superdome has been (this part is true). Atlanta can’t come up with anything good on their own, a fact supported by the only good restaurants in Atlanta being opened by New Orleanians (not true), the best music in Atlanta being stolen from New Orleans (definitely not true and pretty disrespectful, actually), and my friend Paul (true, I have a friend named Paul) who moved to Atlanta a few years ago (true) telling me how much it sucks (not true but mostly because we don’t talk anymore so it can’t be true based off of us not talking anymore).

Atlanta Falcons v Tennessee Titans
Wesley Hitt, Getty Images

Enjoy the Super Bowl, go Patriots and check out Trew’s full blog post here.

[via Medium]

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