It should come as no surprise that growing up as the daughter of domestic goddess Martha Stewart was difficult, but nobody, except for Alexis Stewart, knew just how bad it could get.

“If I didn’t do something perfectly, I had to do it again,” she writes in her upcoming book ‘Whateverland: Learning to Live Here.’ “I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head.”

The book, which hits stores on October 18, is described by ABC as a “comical guide for those who hate how-to manuals.” And judging from excerpts that have been released to the press, much of the humor is going to come at the expense of Alexis’ famous mom.

For example, Alexis reveals that the woman whose empire is based partially on cooking never actually cooked any meals. “There was never anything to eat at my house,” writes the now 46-year-old. “Other people had food. I had no food. … There were ingredients but no prepared food of any kind.”

Perhaps it was best that the Stewart home was devoid of nourishment, as Martha had the unappetizing habit of leaving the door open when utilizing the bathroom.

“Mother always peed with the door open,” Alexis dishes. “I remember saying, ‘You know, now I have friends over! You can’t do that anymore! It’s gotta stop!”

[ABC]