I understand that there are much bigger issues that are a  much larger priority in the frozen tundra that is South Louisiana this morning. Still, the icy roads will thaw, the pipes will eventually not break, and the sun will be warming us all to the point of heat exhaustion soon enough. However, one problem will remain. The frigid feeling of cold feet and cold butts being pressed against the warm flesh of a sleeping spouse.

I am making an assumption that your house is like my house, it's the wife whose body chooses not to warm the lower extremities and the backside. For some reason during the course of an evening's sleep, these body parts will be thrust "accidentally", we know the real truth, on to the warm flesh of my toasty warm being.

Woman, why are your butt and your feet so gosh darn cold?


It's actually a medical condition. It's called Reynaud's Syndrome. Yes, it's a real medical malady. What happens is the cold weather triggers a spasm in the body that actually blocks the flow of blood on a temporary basis.

Another contributor to the cold bottom syndrome is the basic physiology of the female anatomy. The female is designed to carry more fat below the waistline generally around the hips and thighs. The more fat an area has the lower the skin temperatures. And when you consider that women's body temperatures are slightly cooler than men's temperatures this exacerbates the problem.

What's the solution?

There really isn't one other than the one most women have already figured out. If it gets cold, you need to warm it up. The best place to do that is by placing the feet or the fanny next to something warmer, namely the sleeping significant other. All we can ask is at least a fair warning before the Ice Age strikes under the covers again.