As the summer winds down you’re counting down the days to freedom. Admit it — you can’t wait for your kids to go back to school.

You dream of the days when you’re not obligated to entertain them 24/7. Unfortunately, that means you have to go and buy your kids new school supplies.

They’ll beg you for a new wardrobe. You’ll search for the perfect binder to keep them organized, and you’ll get them enough pens and paper to choke on. There are other items your kids wish you would get them, though. Here are 10 back to school items your kids really need.

1. A semi-automatic spitball kit.

2. A dummy with automatic bobbing head, a la Animaniacs.

3. An iPhone cloaking device.

4. A Kindle Fire stocked with comic books.

5. Heat packs in order to fake fevers so the nurse will send them home early.

6. An assortment of candy so they have the upper hand when it’s time to trade at lunch.

7. A stash of “Do you like me? Circle ‘yes’ or ‘no’” notes.

8. X-ray glasses for exceptionally hot teachers.